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-ABLES: Used as a suffix to describe the ingredients or contents of something. (I.E. Items to be put on a grill could be called “grillables”, contents of a dish of nuts would be “nutables”, and ingredients for tuna salad could be called “tunables”.) Obviously derived from the name of the Oscar Mayer “Lunchables” product line. BRUNDLE-FLY: Used to describe an item that is, in essence, a combination of two separate food items that are blended together and exhibit the qualities of both items. (I.E. The “Pot Pie Express” version of Hot Pockets, where a Pot Pie product is put into the Hot Pockets mold and becomes a blend, exhibiting the portability of a Hot Pocket but the flakiness of a Pot Pie.) Term is derived from the 1980’s film version of “The Fly”, where scientist Seth Brundle experiments with matter teleportation, using himself as the subject. While doing so, a fly becomes trapped in the process and the combined DNA of the two integrated organisms creates a new lifeform, exhibiting both human and insect traits. In the course of the film, the mutated Brundle character refers to himself at times as “Brundle-fly”. SUPEREVERYTHINGOPENWICKEDLATECENTER: Slang term for my local Wal*Mart Supercenter, which is open all night and carries everything from milk to stationery to kitchen and auto supplies and perhaps even ballistic missile components. (I tell you, this place has almost everything!) THE ______________ THAT BE: Based on the phrase “The Powers That Be”, referring to whomever is in charge of a particular organization, but tailored to that organization by way of a name in their product line. (I.E. Hostess execs may very well find them referred to as “The Twinkies That Be”, etc.) THE NATIONAL OBSESSION: Term Bill uses to describe the inexplicable (to him) and overwhelming American appetite for coffee, which he refers to as “that putrid brown sludge”. TTiNTie AWARDS:
Award occasionally given to a food item which is new, interesting, original, and illustrates a good usage of the “T.T.N.T.” (Two Things Nailed Together) Principle. T.T.N.T. PRINCIPLE: Concept used to explain the never-ending variations, flavor differences, and off-shoots of standard food items commonly found in supermarkets and food stores. (I.E. “Code Red” Mountain Dew, Vanilla Coke, or the 9,000 Oreo variations currently available...) T.T.N.T. stands for “Two Things Nailed Together, and is derived from a line by comedian George Carlin in which he says that “...if you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it from you...”.
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